Before I begin this story, I have to say, that I was under the influence during the time of this occurrence. I am rehashing this memory to the best of my ability. There is some video evidence of this night. I can't believe how obliterated I actually was. I am kind of glad I didn't remember how stupid I was on this night.
Once upon a time, a couple years ago, I went out to the bar. But that's not the whole story. Let me tell you about this particular bar venture...
I went to see a few of my girl friends at this little place in the city-billy part of town. There was free pool that night, and cheap pitchers of beer. I met up with my girls, and we drank and talked and goofed around like we always do when we're together. Soon I was eyeballing this man that was taller then Shaquille O'Neal. This well dressed white boy had it going on, from far away. He also seemed to have a sidekick. A shorter, darker haired, pierced, tattooed guy who never seemed to go too far from his side.
I soon decided I wanted that. I was on a mission to get what I wanted, which was Mr. Tall Guy. They came over and sat with us, I'm not really sure how that happened. I've slept since then. We were all drinking and joking around. Come to find out that the tall guy was a college professor at one of the local colleges. The short guy kept saying he was a Greek God, and his main goal seemed to be trying to get into the pants of my mostly lesbian friend.
We all moved outside, now quite drunk, and we were alone as a group on the patio. Now things could get a little more intimate. Greek God decided that he wanted to marry my girl who likes girls. I told him about the fact that I'm an ordained minister with the Universal Life Church. He asked her to marry him, she said yes, and that was that. I married them right there on the patio. We had witnesses, and they had vows, and she wouldn't kiss him, and their marriage lasted all of 15 minutes.
We celebrated the shotgun wedding with some shots, and a nice smooth toke of a special kind of cigarette. Out there on the patio, sharing some drinks with people, celebrating fake love, and real lust, twas one hell of a time. Soon people went back inside. I stayed out to finish my cigarette, and the conversation I was having with the Greek Groom. He sure forgot about his wifey with a quickness though, because the next thing you know, he's got his mouth on my tits. It was then that I realized I wasn't getting with The Professor. By this point, I had also realized that The Professor wasn't really that cool, or that hot. Yeah, he looked good, but he was drunk as shit, high as fuck, and couldn't really figure out which end was up.
After I stopped this cheating bastard from nibbling on my nips, we went back inside to join the group. We were singing along to the jukebox, and taking shots, and just having a grand time. I guess I was video taping this part of the night, to post on YouTube for my subscribers. I just watched the video, and I kind of want to take it down. I won't, but I really can't get over how ridiculously trashed I was.
This night was one that me and these girls will never fully remember, but will definitely never forget. The time we went to the bar, Nan got fake married to a Greek God, we smoked pot with a college professor in the patio area, sang along to the music, and I got my tits serviced by my friend's pretend husband.
I am kind of glad I've grown up a bit since this time, but I'm still happy to share the stories. There's more to come.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
The Not-So-Lesbian Encounter
Since I told you about today's vagina experience, I may as well share one from a couple days ago.
The other night, a close female friend of mine came over to hang out and get some facial waxing done. We got a pizza, talked and ate, and I waxed her face, then we talked some more. We got to the topic of bisexuality, or being a lesbian. We shared some stories about our encounters, and then we flipped on some lesbian porn. That was around 11pm.
We continued to sit there and watch movie after movie. Talking about what we liked and disliked about the porn. She said she liked the idea of rubbing her nipples against a warm, wet pussy. I said that sounded enjoyable for well...everyone involved. We pulled up a video that included that very thing, and it sure did look pleasant.
Soon we were watching videos of big breasted MILFs with young big breasted teens. Videos of middle aged women with barely legal asians. Clips of girls grinding their clits against each other. This went on for hours. For hours we sat there, and watched lesbian porn. As two girls who've seen and touched each other before, it was kind of ridiculous to be sitting there totally turned on, and not do damn thing about it, other then hope you didn't soak through your panties. But, that's exactly what we did. We smoked cigarettes, watched girl on girl porn, and got REALLY turned on.
I was talking to a guy I'm interested in via chat and text during this whole thing, and I was hoping to get to hear him for the first time that night. I decided to share my horny thoughts with him, and after my friend left around 3am, I called him.
We talked for a bit about random things, and then I went to my bed, where we got more intimate with our conversation. It started to thunderstorm outside, as well as in my panties. I couldn't hold off any longer, and I told him my dilemma. The sparks flew through that phone line, I must say. As it poured outside, the both of us poured out sexual energy, and were able to come together, regardless of our distance.
The best part of it all, was the smiles and laughter we shared after we got off. The conversation didn't end abruptly after our climax, and instead, became intimate in a different way. I was pretty damn happy as I fell asleep thinking about the lovely, although ridiculous night I had with my friend, and the great times I had talking with my prospective lover.
The other night, a close female friend of mine came over to hang out and get some facial waxing done. We got a pizza, talked and ate, and I waxed her face, then we talked some more. We got to the topic of bisexuality, or being a lesbian. We shared some stories about our encounters, and then we flipped on some lesbian porn. That was around 11pm.
We continued to sit there and watch movie after movie. Talking about what we liked and disliked about the porn. She said she liked the idea of rubbing her nipples against a warm, wet pussy. I said that sounded enjoyable for well...everyone involved. We pulled up a video that included that very thing, and it sure did look pleasant.
Soon we were watching videos of big breasted MILFs with young big breasted teens. Videos of middle aged women with barely legal asians. Clips of girls grinding their clits against each other. This went on for hours. For hours we sat there, and watched lesbian porn. As two girls who've seen and touched each other before, it was kind of ridiculous to be sitting there totally turned on, and not do damn thing about it, other then hope you didn't soak through your panties. But, that's exactly what we did. We smoked cigarettes, watched girl on girl porn, and got REALLY turned on.
I was talking to a guy I'm interested in via chat and text during this whole thing, and I was hoping to get to hear him for the first time that night. I decided to share my horny thoughts with him, and after my friend left around 3am, I called him.
We talked for a bit about random things, and then I went to my bed, where we got more intimate with our conversation. It started to thunderstorm outside, as well as in my panties. I couldn't hold off any longer, and I told him my dilemma. The sparks flew through that phone line, I must say. As it poured outside, the both of us poured out sexual energy, and were able to come together, regardless of our distance.
The best part of it all, was the smiles and laughter we shared after we got off. The conversation didn't end abruptly after our climax, and instead, became intimate in a different way. I was pretty damn happy as I fell asleep thinking about the lovely, although ridiculous night I had with my friend, and the great times I had talking with my prospective lover.
Vag Waxing *Adults Only*
So, people seem to think I'm interesting. I am beginning to believe the hype. I do a lot of different jobs, and one of them is being an esthetician, which means that I do massage, skincare, makeup, and waxing. I do these things for friends when they need them taken care of.
One of my friends decided that she wanted to get her vagina waxed. I hadn't done a full on vag-wax before, so I said if she let me video tape it, and sell it on my clips store, that I'd do it for free. She was more then down. This chick is pretty kickass, as is, so I was looking forward to doing the wax. I knew it would be at the very least, educational.
So,she comes over this afternoon and I have everything set up and ready to go. I have her friend take care of the camera, and I put her on the table, panties off, spread wide open. I'm literally staring straight into her vagina.
I figure I might as well get to it, and not give her the chance to puss out. HA! Yeah. So I start spreading the hot wax on her upper pussy area. She immediately lets out a squeal and a giggle, and tells me that it feels like I'm spreading hot cum on her. I laugh out loud, and continue working this shit into her hair. I get a couple strips laid down, and pause to let them harden so I can rip them. I had an inkling that she wasn't going to hold still, so I lean over her, pressing my belly onto her leg, and using my other arm to hold her other leg down. I go in and start flipping the edge of the strip of wax, trying to get a grip. The whole time she's giggling like an idiot, and squirming around underneath me. I yell at her to hold still, and pull her skin tight, and RIP that strip off as fast as possible, following it up with a slap to the area to stop the pain. She screamed and moaned and laughed and scrunched up on the table in front of me. It was by far, the most amusing thing I'd seen happen on that massage table to date.
As the wax went on, we got a little more comfortable with the fact that I had to stick my hand over her clit and her opening. She got a lot more comfortable with that then I. I was applying the wax closer and closer to her spot, and with each application she was getting more and more turned on. With each rip, she was closer and closer to having an orgasm. I wasn't sure if I should worry about this, or just go with it. I figured I needed to remain professional, and just keep waxing.
I continue to rip strips of wax and hair off of her, and I knew it was going to happen with the last strip. I applied the wax to her, and fanned it with a piece of paper, and she started moaning and squirming. All the while, I'm still trying to use my weight to hold her down so I can finish the job. At this point, all 3 of us knew she was about to come. So I held her down, the girl holding the camera held her down, and I started to rip...and she started to come. I had to pull that strip off in pieces because we couldn't restrain her enough. She got off, while my face was mere inches from her, and while I was ripping her hair right off her body. Hot and hilarious.
I think that the thing that I learned from this experience is this: "The eyes are no longer the windows to the soul, because the slanted eye gives away much more insight."
The 27 minute video of this is available for sale by clicking HERE.
One of my friends decided that she wanted to get her vagina waxed. I hadn't done a full on vag-wax before, so I said if she let me video tape it, and sell it on my clips store, that I'd do it for free. She was more then down. This chick is pretty kickass, as is, so I was looking forward to doing the wax. I knew it would be at the very least, educational.
So,she comes over this afternoon and I have everything set up and ready to go. I have her friend take care of the camera, and I put her on the table, panties off, spread wide open. I'm literally staring straight into her vagina.
I figure I might as well get to it, and not give her the chance to puss out. HA! Yeah. So I start spreading the hot wax on her upper pussy area. She immediately lets out a squeal and a giggle, and tells me that it feels like I'm spreading hot cum on her. I laugh out loud, and continue working this shit into her hair. I get a couple strips laid down, and pause to let them harden so I can rip them. I had an inkling that she wasn't going to hold still, so I lean over her, pressing my belly onto her leg, and using my other arm to hold her other leg down. I go in and start flipping the edge of the strip of wax, trying to get a grip. The whole time she's giggling like an idiot, and squirming around underneath me. I yell at her to hold still, and pull her skin tight, and RIP that strip off as fast as possible, following it up with a slap to the area to stop the pain. She screamed and moaned and laughed and scrunched up on the table in front of me. It was by far, the most amusing thing I'd seen happen on that massage table to date.
As the wax went on, we got a little more comfortable with the fact that I had to stick my hand over her clit and her opening. She got a lot more comfortable with that then I. I was applying the wax closer and closer to her spot, and with each application she was getting more and more turned on. With each rip, she was closer and closer to having an orgasm. I wasn't sure if I should worry about this, or just go with it. I figured I needed to remain professional, and just keep waxing.
I continue to rip strips of wax and hair off of her, and I knew it was going to happen with the last strip. I applied the wax to her, and fanned it with a piece of paper, and she started moaning and squirming. All the while, I'm still trying to use my weight to hold her down so I can finish the job. At this point, all 3 of us knew she was about to come. So I held her down, the girl holding the camera held her down, and I started to rip...and she started to come. I had to pull that strip off in pieces because we couldn't restrain her enough. She got off, while my face was mere inches from her, and while I was ripping her hair right off her body. Hot and hilarious.
I think that the thing that I learned from this experience is this: "The eyes are no longer the windows to the soul, because the slanted eye gives away much more insight."
The 27 minute video of this is available for sale by clicking HERE.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Best Life!
Being single is not what I remembered. I remembered being lonely, unhappy, depressed and just a general mope. I had an on again, off again relationship for three years, that ended a few months ago.
Normally I don't post my personal business online, but there's nothing bad to say, so I don't think it really matters this time.
I finally feel free again. Free and happy. I loved being in a relationship, and having the companionship, intimacy, and love. I didn't love the arguments, and the jealousy.
Now that I'm single, I can spend endless amounts of time with my friends. I can travel to visit friends. I can kiss two different people in one week. I can go home with someone from the bar, not for sex, but for the hell of it. I don't have anyone to come home to. And for once, I'm loving it.
Instead of getting jealous while watching happy couples kiss and touch each other in front of me, I just smile. They're happy. Why not show it? I used to get all butthurt at the thought of seeing someone else be intimate with their loved one when I was alone. I thought of myself as the third wheel. Now I see myself as the center of it all.
I'm not seeking a relationship right now. But...but...if one finds me, then I won't hold back. I am not that sad, easy, mcslutty fat chick that this modern world is used to. I'm a large, confident, sexy woman. And I'll make you see it. I get it if I'm not your thing, and I appreciate your honesty. But don't let that stop us from being friends.
Having this realization, of pure happiness and love of myself, and my life, makes amazing things happen.
Story time.
This past weekend, I was hanging out with some friends, new and recent, and we were all sitting around in a backyard garden, at 4 in the morning. The weather was perfect, the night had gone great so far, and here we are, a small group of great people. I began to talk about how happy I felt. And then a small bit of worry popped in my head. I decided to push it away with a positive thought instead. I told the group that I was going to win the lottery that day. Instead of thinking about my money problem, I said screw it. I'm gonna get money. I'm GOING TO win the lottery. Today. I told them a few times, and that I'd let them know when it happened.
Later on that day, after saving one of them after they ran out of gas at 7am, and sleeping, I went out to win the lottery. I go to the gas station, pick my scratch off, pay the man, and get to scratchin. I won $10! I am a lottery winner!
I shared the news with everyone that day.
The levels of positivity coming out of me are just right to make good things happen.
I figure, if you can just say something is going to happen, then it will. Good or bad. Just believe in yourself, and be thankful for what you've got. And everything will be alright.
So the point of this, was to share my news, my happiness, my insight, my stories, and my love.
Normally I don't post my personal business online, but there's nothing bad to say, so I don't think it really matters this time.
I finally feel free again. Free and happy. I loved being in a relationship, and having the companionship, intimacy, and love. I didn't love the arguments, and the jealousy.
Now that I'm single, I can spend endless amounts of time with my friends. I can travel to visit friends. I can kiss two different people in one week. I can go home with someone from the bar, not for sex, but for the hell of it. I don't have anyone to come home to. And for once, I'm loving it.
Instead of getting jealous while watching happy couples kiss and touch each other in front of me, I just smile. They're happy. Why not show it? I used to get all butthurt at the thought of seeing someone else be intimate with their loved one when I was alone. I thought of myself as the third wheel. Now I see myself as the center of it all.
I'm not seeking a relationship right now. But...but...if one finds me, then I won't hold back. I am not that sad, easy, mcslutty fat chick that this modern world is used to. I'm a large, confident, sexy woman. And I'll make you see it. I get it if I'm not your thing, and I appreciate your honesty. But don't let that stop us from being friends.
Having this realization, of pure happiness and love of myself, and my life, makes amazing things happen.
Story time.
This past weekend, I was hanging out with some friends, new and recent, and we were all sitting around in a backyard garden, at 4 in the morning. The weather was perfect, the night had gone great so far, and here we are, a small group of great people. I began to talk about how happy I felt. And then a small bit of worry popped in my head. I decided to push it away with a positive thought instead. I told the group that I was going to win the lottery that day. Instead of thinking about my money problem, I said screw it. I'm gonna get money. I'm GOING TO win the lottery. Today. I told them a few times, and that I'd let them know when it happened.
Later on that day, after saving one of them after they ran out of gas at 7am, and sleeping, I went out to win the lottery. I go to the gas station, pick my scratch off, pay the man, and get to scratchin. I won $10! I am a lottery winner!
I shared the news with everyone that day.
The levels of positivity coming out of me are just right to make good things happen.
I figure, if you can just say something is going to happen, then it will. Good or bad. Just believe in yourself, and be thankful for what you've got. And everything will be alright.
So the point of this, was to share my news, my happiness, my insight, my stories, and my love.
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