Home Again...

Let me start by saying that I'm proud of myself. I'm proud that I was able to live on my own for over a year without getting evicted. I'm proud that I kept my apartment clean enough to get my deposit back. I'm proud that I've had the pleasure of having amazing times over the last year and a half. I'm also proud of the work that I've done.

I had to swallow some of that pride and head back to the homestead for a little while. I am thankful. I am thankful for my parents for allowing me to come back to their house after so many times of back and forth. I appreciate their unconditional love, even though sometimes I seem to fall more then I can stand.

The reason I'm back here now is my own fault and no one else's. I'm the only one to blame for my downfall. I made the choice to volunteer my time and my makeup to work on a local indie film with hopes of expanding my portfolio and gaining experience in my chosen field. I made the choice to switch up my modeling career. (CLICK HERE to view my website!)I made these choices and I don't regret them. Acceptance in the worst of times makes the best people.

I've known for a while that I'd rather struggle and experience these 'failures' then conform to society and experience the security of a regular paycheck and a boring routine. I love my life, and the people in it. I live for it. I think if I had to change the way I live just to please other people, I would meet my end.

I recently started reading a new book. Conversations with God. Hear me out before you push the scroll button and run away screaming. I am not a hyper religious person. I was brought up by a Jewish mother, and a Catholic father. I was confirmed in the Catholic church. I dabbled in Wicca. I learned about Psychic Vampirism. I've been SAVED 3 times. And occasionally, I come across a book that revives me. This book seems to be one of them. It doesn't matter to me whether or not the conversations are with God, or just the author talking to himself. What matters to me is what's said. And the truth behind it. I won't go into too much detail here, because I don't want to explain too much. I'd rather you take it upon yourselves to trust me to pick it up and check it out. It will bring to light the many reasons that you may not trust in God, and how to understand Who You Are.

I hope that this time in my life will help me to realize Who I Am. At least I can be home again to gather my thoughts.