Temporarily Engaged to an Eskimo

Did I ever tell you about the time I was engaged for 5 days to an eskimo? An eskimo I never even met? I didn't? Oh, well here goes.

I am a member of this dating site, called OKCupid.com. For the most part, this site has provided me with more negative encounters then positive ones. I've met 4 people in person after communicating with them on the site. I also have a long list of friends who also use the site. Out of those 4 people, 2 have been positive experiences, and the other 2 weren't as great.

My current relationship status on Facebook states I'm in an open relationship with a girl. I met this girl on OKCupid. She is beautiful, funny, talented, and she's one of my new best friends. And she's an amazing kisser! I dig her.

Next I met this really attractive guy. He didn't call after meeting. Then a few weeks later he told me he was seeing someone, yet he wanted to 'see me'. Uh...no thanks. Don't care how hot you are, if you're going to treat me with such little respect then I don't want you.

Third, I meet this guy who was really easy to talk to online. I am not really afraid of meeting people online, so I offer to bring him out to the bar one weeknight. BIG MISTAKE! This guy was drunk when I picked him up. And, he smelled like baby powder and aftershave. A strange mix. He bummed half a pack of my cigarettes, got even more drunk at the bar, hit on my friend, and tried to touch her, and ended up getting kicked out of the bar. I drove him home, and instead of 'Thank you for taking me out with you, picking me up, and giving me half a pack of your cigarettes.' I hear 'Fuck you! Fuck you bitch for not letting me drink more!' Again...date fail.

Then there was the somewhat shy, very cute, easy to talk to guy who is dealing with his own romantic issues. I had been chatting with him on and off for a few months, the off mostly due to bad timing, and lack of planning. He's a friend on facebook, and I have his number, but never used it. I went out by myself last night, and he randomly showed up at the bar with his brother and some friends. We ended up spending a good portion of the evening together, drinking, talking, and having a good time. We got along pretty well, and ultimately, I'd say I gained a friend out of the experience.

Lastly, there's the eskimo. I never did meet him in person, due to his current living arrangements being in Alaska. But we did talk on the phone for hours and hours and hours amen. He was funny, musical, cute, and sweet, and I quickly fell for his charms. He reciprocated my feelings just as fast, and before you could say cock gobbling thunder cunts, we were talking about marriage, children, and having a family. Both of us would have reality checks throughout the hours of conversation. Realizing how ridiculous our plans sounded, even to us. But, for some reason, the thought of marrying this practical stranger sounded pretty good as well. After the first couple of days, the phone calls weren't as long, or as interesting. Then the text messages he sent me were more accusing then adoring. I wasn't doing anything that could be even remotely considered cheating, so it just pissed me off when he'd purposely try to make me jealous, or mad. I soon got over the idea of wanting to marry this guy, but yet I kept up with it to see if it might still have a fighting chance. I caught myself looking at wedding rings on Etsy.com, and I found the perfect one. Later on that day, when I was busy working, I ended the relationship. I couldn't take all the accusations of cheating, when I wasn't doing anything! Also, it was then that I realized that the whole thing was REALLY crazy, and mostly just two people with a fantasy of getting married and having a family, fulfilling it by saying those three words to each other. I love you. The fantasy died off quickly for me, and I kept it up because I am nice, and it's nice to feel loved, even if it's majorly fake.

I was engaged to an Eskimo once. I don't think I ever really loved him. Oh well.